Thursday, February 26

You Never Know Where The Line Is Until You Cross It

[You Never Know Where The Line Is Until You Cross It]

I'm wearing the same outfit I wore to the reading last week: short brown dress with a largish light tan leafy print, huge brown sweater, thick brown tights, black high-heeled Mary Janes.

It seems my skirt is too short for some.

Earlier today the receptionist told me that she was asked, "is that the shortest skirt you've ever seen?"
And she overheard, "did you see that?"

Now, I didn't think it was that short! I mean, if I make sure it's pulled straight and I put my shoulders back, I can pass the Catholic-School-girl's-skirt / put-your-hands-straight-down-at-your-sides-fingertips-must-be-above-the-hem test. [Yeah, I know, it's not "pulled straight" when I'm walking.]

Anyway, a little while ago, I got "a talking to" from a director . . . .

Granted, there was laughter, and there was no "trouble" but, I think I have reached the line.

Tuesday, February 24

Zut Alors

[Zut Alors]

C'est Mardi Gras! Que devrait être éprouvé à l'excès aujourd'hui? je n'ai plus une catholique de pratique, mais j'essai immobile essaye une certaine contrainte pendant prêté.

Sunday, February 22

Abso-Fucking-Lutely

[Abso-Fucking-Lutely]

His name is John. It was fitting that they waited until the last shot on the last episode to tell us. If Carrie had ended up with that pompus Russian ass, I would have screamed. Now, I want to re-watch all six seasons. It was a great finale.

Reading | Recuction

[Reading | Recuction]

I went to a blogger reading last night [sponsored by SPEC Chicago and Gapers Block]. It was kind of fun. It would have been better for me if it hadn't been so crowded. I like to find a corner at such events and sit back to watch the reactions and interactions. It wasn't possible this time.

Among other things [including this fabulous chapter from Imaginary Year] Jeremy read a reduction of his blog that he had used MSWord's AutoSummarize to create.

I thought it was wonderful. So, I decided to see what would happen if I reduced the contents of this blog to 500 words. This is the result:
If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times; whoever invented cappuccino is a saint. Yeah! If you take the test too we could compare scores. "Address books must always be little black books." I'm wondering . . . . Yeah, I've been away. It may be that perceptions change as time passes. Will it never stop?

I've been working on an internal quarterly review presentation at the office for days now. If I type av, for example, it suggests average. Partly, this seems to be related to words that I’ve typed before. If nothing was suggested, I left it off the list. I’ve changed nothing . . . . let's call it iPAQ Poetry.

For some time now, I've been thinking about getting a tattoo that will cover the small-but-meaningless tattoo I already have. I've become more intrigued by my heritage of late. Wonder. Life.

Sounds of Crystal's purse, Crystal at the coffee shop, Crystal typing, Crystal sneezing, Crystal drinking coffee, Crystal on the phone, over fifty minutes of Crystal minutiae. Project. If 19 people have monkeypox, and if monkeypox is spread through physical contact, and if the mortality rate is that high, and if I'm in Chicago, shouldn't this have been on the local news?

I wonder if he was singing "Strip" as he was stripping . . . .I've been wearing clothes out of the donation pile again. Interesting. Absolutely wonderful. Change. I'll never tell.

Fascinating. I've taken two showers since. For if it prosper, none dare call it treason. If you haven't already, Go to Google. Right now. I hope it works out. [If it happened . . . . apparently, one hell of a storm hit at the time of the reading.]

Time for chai. Yup. I've passed that friggin' taste test.

Utter fucking chaos. If you are bored and not easily disturbed come on over. I need the help. It seems that I've definitely lost all of my emails and my address book. I've cancelled my babysitting thing this evening as to avoid getting little man Jake sick. Even if it lacks sufficient structural integrity. I saw this article yesterday, and was thinking thinking thinking [while I was at the office and should have been working working working].

Sleep. Lie down to read. If not, we'll likely kill it. I rarely remember my dreams. It's time to regroup. I would have made it to work on time if I hadn’t gotten motion sickness from the train. Strange times indeed. Okay, now it's time to stop using dressing rooms.

It's not the outfit — I've worn it several times before. I think I'm staying home this evening. Tonight? Chicago will party tonight.

I've had issues with insomnia for the first time in months. Fascinating. Great. "We'll clean this place up if it takes all week." There's a new kitchen table. I made calls. I've spent a chunk of the day reading The Golden Ratio. Wonderful. I've created a phi derivation spreadsheet using Fibonacci numbers.
It seems that my 100 favorite things and my most profound needs weren't important enough to make the cut.

Saturday, February 21

This is Not Exerting Pressure

[This is Not Exerting Pressure]

No, I don't take much stock in horoscopes, but they get emailed to me every day anyway, and today's was particularly interesting:
Someone is keeping secrets from you. We all have private issues we don't wish to share, but this situation affects you. Your intuition will probably tell you who this person is. Try to get them to open up without exerting pressure.
Curious. Very. Especially because my intuition is offering no clues.

Saturday, February 14

Will you be my Valentine

[Will you be my Valentine?]

Anyone else ever notice how well Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Browie goes with Shiraz?

I'm wearing my V-Day tank top and kinda feeling guilty about not volunteering or at least donating something to the cause. Alas, I am a lazy, hedonistic brat.

Hmmmmm.

I've been intermittently Farking throughout the day. Because everyone else was doing it — yeah, I do know exactly how that sounds — I took the Match.com Physical Attraction Test.

Twice.

This is who the test chose for me . . . . .

   

I wouldn't kick either of them out on looks alone, but, I don't think they're on-target either. He looks a little smarmy and vain. And she looks like a smug soccer mom. I wonder why I think that? Do I look smug and vain? That's something to think about. And, I've got to get over this fear-of-photos thing. But, that's a consideration for another day.

Moving on . . . . .

For some reason, interspersed within the discussion of this test was a discussion on IQ tests. Although I doubt the validity of any IQ test, I'm not opposed to taking them. Most of them seem to weigh heavily on one's access to common knowledge. For example, I'd recently taken the Tickle one, and it has this question:

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never
  • Complete
  • Accurate
  • Complex
  • Simple
  • Wise
I mean really, now, could anyone belive that one's intelligence may be measured by the ability to recognize an Oscar Wilde quote?

The Brainforce test is entirely image-based and therefore supposedly culturally-neutral. I'd suppose it a far better measure of raw processing power than the Tickle one. [If you intend to take the Brainforce test, note that the 25-minute timer begins as soon as the page loads, so get your brain on before you click!]. I took it today.

I'll share my scores with you if you share yours with me.

Now, I'm off to drink more wine, eat more ice cream and read.

Sigh.

Monday, February 9

Should Be vs Am

[Should Be vs Am]

What should I be doing? Cleaning. Dishes. Work I brought home.

What am I doing? Playing with The Alphabet Synthesis Machine. [Via timzog.]

Thus far I have created slithen, uzfual, oug and yiemf.

God help me, I am weak.

[Note: I didn't waste the whole evening. I put laundry away. I ate . . . . twice. And, I took the time to bitch to congress.]

Sunday, February 8

The End of The World

[The End of The World]

An elucidating piece about the end of the world . . . . or something like that.

Très amusant.

Services

[Services]

I have found a new laundry service [Sudz] that's roughly the same price as the old laundry service [LemonScents].

Why did I need a new laundry service? Simeon quit.

Who is Simeon? He was the weekend delivery guy.

After the first three or four times I used LemonScents, I realized how variable they were. Orders right, orders wrong, delivery on time, no pick up at all. Then, I realized the pattern: if Simeon picked up the order, he did so on time and the order was done correctly, and if Simeon delivered the order, it arrived on time. No Simeon and something was fucked up.

So, of course, I scheduled my pickups and deliveries around Simeon's work schedule. I've been doing this for five months.

Suddenly, as of this past Friday, those times weren't available on the website. So I called. Simeon quit. Now, LemonScents doesn't offer pickup or delivery on Sunday. And because their schedules have been moved around, they no longer can offer pickups or deliveries past 5pm on weekdays.

Just moments ago, I was talking to John, the owner of Sudz. He told me that he already has three new customers that are defecting from LemonScents. Three since Friday.

So, basically, as I see it, a small business is completely losing its shit because one employee quit.

Monday, February 2

Perfect Snow

[Perfect Snow]

It's really coming down out there. And, the snow is absolutely perfect for packing.

And it's twenty-nine degrees out there! Why, that's thirty-seven degrees warmer than it was last week!

One could make a great snowman with that snow. Or lots and lots of snowballs. Or, even a fort.

Alas, I know of no one who would want to go out and play with me.

Sunday, February 1

Needs

[Needs]

I've been involved in a conversation about needs. It prompted me to consider what I really need in order to feel comfortable. I ended up making this list, which pretty much covers it:
  • security
    [friends and family / adequate shelter / adequate clothing / emotional and physical protection / sufficient money]

  • nourishment
    [quantity / quality]

  • sleep
    [time / facilities / accoutrements]

  • body awareness
    [including but not limited to sex and sensuality]

  • grooming
    [cleanliness, certainly, but also a type of meditative perfectionism | time / facilities / accoutrements]

  • creative, emotional and intellectual stimuli
    [interactions with friends / media / the world in general]

  • solitude
    [time to process]

  • outlets
    [interactions with friends / crafty projects / writing / musing / other]

  • seeking patterns

  • whimsy, spirituality, absurdity and a sense of the divine
    [yes, I associate these]
Of course, I'm terrifically interested in what might be on your list, gentle reader.