Monday, January 26

Dinners I’ve Had

[Dinners I’ve Had]

I’ve been thinking about my diet, and am both amused and disconcerted about what has constituted dinner on occasion. A partial list:
  • French fries with gravy

  • Half a bag of Fritos and half a magnum of cheap Chardonnay

  • An 8-ounce filet, coffee and chocolate mousse with no other accompaniments

  • Macadamia nuts, dried apricots, and Chardonnay

  • Spinach dip, pork rinds and Chardonnay

  • Ritz crackers, Easy Cheese [yup, the stuff in a can . . . . granted, this was some time ago] and Chequer’s scotch [I think that was the name . . . . . and I hate scotch]

  • Half a Sara Lee Strawberry Cheesecake, a third of a gallon of some dirt-cheap screw-top red wine [fabulous site, regardless of the wine quality], and French fries with gravy

  • An entire small wheel of brie en croute with two-thirds of a bottle of pricey Barbaresco [a gift . . . . if I remember correctly, I washed my hair with the other third because of some damn article in some glossy fucking magazine that claimed it would make my hair shinier]

  • Steamed edamame and several glasses of Riesling

  • 12 blue-cheese stuffed olives [in three Belvedere martinis]

  • Pancakes with peanut butter

  • Six cups of coffee with cream and sugar and half a pack of cigarettes

  • Black-bottom banana cream pie

  • Devilled eggs and chunks of leftover ham

  • Sandwiches made from banana bread, bacon and mascarpone [fabulous, utterly fucking fabulous . . . . honestly, I want one right now (Ms Rosie, I miss you desperately)]

  • Lots of bourbon, some crusty French bread with lots of butter and some Coca Cola

  • Stuffed jalapenos and beer

  • St Louis cut barbecue ribs and beer

  • Hush puppies and beer

  • Nachos and beer

  • Hot wings and beer

  • Beer
I am certain I’ve forgotten some dinners that would be equally amusing and/or disconcerting, but that is quite a list.

Tonight’s dinner? Four-day-old pizza and cheap Chardonnay.

Sigh.

Friday, January 23

Careful What You Wish For

[Careful What You Wish For]

Well, I did say that I'd rather see snow than deal with it being so very cold . . . .

Monday, January 19

Gave me Pause

[Gave me Pause]
  • Ancient gravesites in Siberia replete with bronze gilded mummies suggest that the area was peopled with a previously unknown culture and was a significant trade crossroads in the 10th and 11th centuries, and not the barren wasteland traditional oral history suggests.

  • Thankfully, I do not qualify for a monkey assistant, but I want one anyway. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't make fun of it because it is really fascinating and wonderful. However, I, like Mighty Girl, want at least a few t-shirts.

  • If you find yourself thinking that you are safe, if you have forgotten that you and those you love could be the victim of rape or sexual abuse, intermittently check the news stories posted at SafetyNet and you will most certainly remember to call someone when you get home, check behind you and just be continually aware when walking alone, take a taxi instead of the train at night [and remember to log the taxi number], meet first dates in safe familiar places, be continually cautious, and encourage your friends to do the same. I have become lax, especially about the call when home / be certain someone knows where I am thing. That will change.

  • Because you needed to know: punXfordean.org.

  • I couldn't afford it, but nevertheless, I missed my chance to be Empress of my home state of West Virginia.

  • Bodies from at least 50 members of the Medici family are to be exhumed to "unlock secrets" of their lives, deaths and true lineage. [Thanks to Mark]

  • Since 1949, every January 19th, on the anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe's death a hooded person leaves French cognac on the gravesite.
That is all for tonight.

Sunday, January 18

Who let the Frogs out?

[Who let the Frogs out?]

If anyone out there finds a frog would you please let me know? I'd take care of him, and see that he was transported safely to some interesting place.

[Yes, I am aware that this publicity stunt is assocated with a spinoff series of the Left Behind books, which I have not read and are not on my list of things to read. I am amused regardless.]

Friday, January 16

Priorities

[Priorities]

There's a bat somewhere in my apartment.

It came in through my bedroom window last night, flew out the bedroom door into the kitchen and remained there flying about making noise. I was afraid of it. I closed the bedroom door and stayed put. I made calls. I tried to get Animal Control to take care of it. I tried to locate my landlady. Thirteen hours passed as I waited in my bedroom for either the landlady or Animal Control to show up.

The landlady and a one of the maintenance men were here for about a half-hour starting at noon. Animal Control came at about twenty minutes before one and just left. We couldn't find the bat.

According to the Animal Control guys, it could be hiding in any piece of clothing in my walk-in closet. The smaller they are the better they hang on. Apparently, I'll have to wait until after dark when it wakes up and flies out from wherever it's hiding. Joy.

Anyway, I spent most of the night thinking, and in a moment of lucidity whilst trapped in my bedroom, I realized that I have misplaced priorities about which people receive my attention.

There are people who I would always feel comfortable calling if I were in the midst of a trauma.

There are people who I would always feel comfortable calling at 2am if I were drunk, horny, or just feeling chatty.

There are people who I would always feel comfortable calling if I saw something amusing that I wanted to share.

And, there are people to whom I devote much time and mindshare that fall into none of those categories.

I need to realign my priorities.

Love to all who listened to me rant last night and this morning.

I'm off to find food, coffee, and someone who is willing to help with this evening's bat issues.

Wednesday, January 14

Busy Busy Busy

[Busy Busy Busy]

Yes. I know it's been a while. Work has been a bit crazy, and I keep reading things and intending to post about them but getting distracted by other things. I'm certain that when I get around to posting some things will be out of date . . . . c'est la vie.

Wednesday, January 7

T-Shirt Phrases & Job Titles for the IRS

[T-Shirt Phrases & Job Titles for the IRS]

I once had a t-shirt that proclaimed "my boyfriend's out of town" and somewhere, in some shuffle, I lost it. Pity. As I remember it, it paid for itself in cocktails many times over. Alas, tonight I paid for most of my own cocktails. And, truthfully, I wasn't wearing any sort of t-shirt . . . . I was wearing a huge unflattering sweater. Anyway, one of my fellow bar flies and I ended up talking about a whole slew things from hunting and farming to psilocybin and snakes to job titles and the IRS. I mentioned that for years, I would create an interesting job title to put on my tax form. With his help, I found the one for the new year: organic kobe swine theraputic massager.