Monday, June 30

Advice from Cosmo

[Advice from Cosmo]

Ever wonder where they get their tricks?

[See July 2003, Page 78, notes on what boys mean by their nicknames for thier chicks.]


Friday, June 27

Busy Girl

[Busy Girl]

  • Monday night, I worked late knowing that I’d be attempting to sneak out early the rest of the week.

  • Tuesday night, I went over to Keely’s to help her pack for the big move. We managed to pack the kitchen, the bathroom, half the books, and half the clothes in one evening. Part of the duties of a maid of honor are making things go away when the bride decides she’d rather remain single. I am, thus far, proving adequate to the task I, amazingly, made it to work on time on Wednesday.

  • Wednesday night, Jeremy and I went to see Finding Nemo — really amusing — and then to Cafè Bolero to order food and drink sangria. I astonishingly, made it to work on time on Thursday.

  • Thursday night, I should have gone directly to Fields to purchase the dress and the present for a wedding that is tonight, but instead, I was convinced it would be better to start at Big Herm’s with a bucket o’Corona. Sigh. I didn’t make it to Fields until after seven o’clock, and they close at eight. I got the present, but not the dress. I tried on dozens of dresses. If they looked flattering at all, I looked like a trollop — obviously inappropriate for the function. Abashed, I left Fields and headed directly to Little Joe’s for several glasses of merlot. By the grace of God, I not only made it to work on time, but before getting to work I went shopping for a dress. I bought one, but, after seeing it under the invluence of coffee, I’m not too sure about it.

  • Last night, in the middle of the night, I had a dream where I was a Stripperella sidekick, Office Betty, and I went around the city using fly ninja moves to decapitate all those friggin’ MLB Bobble Heads.

  • Tonight is the wedding.

  • Tomorrow is Keely’s Big Move.

  • Sunday is the Pride Parade.

  • Monday, should I survive this weekend, I’ll be back to my normal intermittent and erratic posting schedule.

Monday, June 23

Improving on Kiss

[Improving on Kiss]

Beth, as interpreted by Bill Tuomala. Ha. I just laughed so hard I snorted wine out my nose . . . . thank God I wasn't guzzling a Schlitz. Don't ask me how I find these things. I'll never tell.



Everything is so very much clearer now. I think I'm even on the cusp of understanding why tourists feed the pigeons.



A girl's gotta have role models.
Using her sex appeal to cloud the minds of male crooks, she comes equipped with special gadgets, such as her lipstick laser and wall-climbing stiletto heels. Her breasts are natural lie detectors and her legs are powerful weapons she wraps around the heads of her foes in a move she calls the "scissor-ella."
[Thanks to Keely for the link.]

Sunday, June 22

Observable Impermanence

[Observable Impermanence]

Today's Daily Zen:
Green waters and verdant mountains
are the places to walk in meditation;
by the streams or under the trees
are places to clear the mind.
Observe impermanence,
never forget it;
this urges on the will to seek enlightenment.

— Keizan Jokin (1264-1325)

Okay, perhaps it is not as clearing to the mind, but the city is rife with observable impermanence.

Summer Has Arrived

[Summer Has Arrived]

Friends are crawling out of their cocoons and wrestling with their wants. Change. Fix. Move. Reorder. Try something different. Get feedback. Rinse and repeat. It’s as fun to watch as it is to do it yourself.

Wonderful. I feel wonderful.

I'm wondering whether it's partly weather related. [I know it's not entirely weather related.] Keely has been saying, "I am a flower, I need sunlight to grow!" I have adopted and abused this phrase. I too have been enjoying the sunshine. I have also been enjoying the city sounds, iced coffee, the feel of a light film of earned sweat, open windows, the hum of the not-really-needed air conditioner during a nap, miniskirts and sandals, bloody marys at brunch. Marvelous.

Marginally related:
If you ever plan a solstice celebration, you should check the band's rider carefully: some pagan bands may require a quiet fornicatorium. I do not know whether I, for general daily use, require a fornicatorium, nor what is entailed in the creation or maintenance of a fornicatorium, but I find the concept intriguing. It would make an apartment tour interesting. Here’s the kitchen, the bathroom is over there, this is the living room, and through that curtain is the bedroom to the right, and the fornicatorium to the left.

Fun word. Perhaps I just like saying it. Feel the way it makes your mouth move. For·ni·ca·tor·i·um. Almost as much fun to say as annihilate. An·ni·hi·late. It was un·ne·ces·sar·y to an·ni·hil·ate the for·ni·ca·tor·i·um.


Monday, June 16

1000 Journals

[1000 Journals]

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Do any of you know anyone who has come across one of the free floating journals?

I found this one when checking on Salam | Raed. . . . I hadn't in some time.

Also on the site:
"The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do."

— Samuel P. Huntington


Saturday, June 14



Mercury News | It's a spellchecker to stop `bullwords'
The people blamed for incentivizing companies to build mindshare, repurpose and utilize change agents have taken aim at their own lingo. . . .

The free software, which works like a spell-checking program to spot forbidden words and phrases in Microsoft Word and PowerPoint documents, is available on the Deloitte Consulting Web site. . . .

The software itself was relatively straightforward. The firm next held a contest to build a dictionary of forbidden words and phrases, or ``bullwords.'' The winner of the Deloitte contest received a trip to the California Academy of Tauromaquia — otherwise known as bullfighting school.

``We got over 10,000 submissions,'' Hardaway said. ``Some of the most hated were `leverage,' `bandwidth,' `touch base,' `incentivize,' `inoculate,' `bleeding edge,' `robust,' `synergize' and `envisioneer.' ''
Interesting. Jargon — any group's jargon — is intrinsic to its exclusivity maintenance system: style of dress, type of speech, topic-base . . . . all inter-tribe identification practices.

On how life is

[On how life is]

I've been going through some old stuff and found something I wrote a few months ago:
Life's been well, when I speak of it, well and poor in an indeterminably patterned wave, when I reflect upon it, odd when I attempt to plan it, and banal when I let it flow.

I imagine a life where I could substitute enigmatic, dizzying, unwieldy and sublime.

Disjointed. My thoughts are disjointed. I crave the smells of chocolate, grapefruit and popcorn, but the tastes of hot pepper and sharp cheese. I wish to be in a fugue . . . . one hazy enough to veil not-yet-attempted transgressions [or, more appropriately, transgressions that may never be attempted should I not have the excuse of such a fugue].

I hope that all those I love are well, and that their lives are [or, can be], in appropriate measures, enigmatic, dizzying, unwieldy and sublime.
A partial substitution happened while I was busy doing other things . . . . the fugue didn’t prove to be much of a veil, and it’s difficult to manage unweildy with grace. However, because of the occasional bouts of giddy dizziness and glimpses of sublimity, the rest is most definitely acceptable.

Friday, June 13



Ooooooooh. I'm really interested in seeing 28 days later [thanks to Aaron for the heads-up].

Thursday, June 12

Bad Bad Girl

[Bad Bad Girl]
  • I've consumed more carbs in the past week than I had in the previous four combined.

  • There are a pair of brown high-heeled sandals, a pair of gold high-heeled sandals, and at least three pairs of black high-heeled sandals in the kitchen.

  • I've been wearing clothes out of the donation pile again.

  • I was hitting on the copier sales boy, and was slightly miffed that I didn't make him more uncomfortable. I want to feel guilty about my desire to make him uncomfortable, but I am unable to force this feeling. I shall endeavor to no longer blindside those with no hope of escape.

  • I am not a pragmatist. I just half-heartedly want to be a pragmatist, because I think the world desperately needs more pragmatists to work out its ills.

  • After another eight-month stint of religiously applying SPF-30, I've been hitting the tanning bed again.

  • There are at least four open packs of cigarettes in the apartment. I look for one, can't find one, and open another one.

  • I've added more books to my current reading list without finishing any of the ones already there, and abandoning one completely [Bear's Vitals wasn't doin' it for me].
No, I don't expect absolution from you, gentle reader. I'm just indulging in the type of ritualistic self-effacement that recently led me to be labeled a narcissist. Alas, we are what we are.

Money Factory

[Money Factory]

Yup, that's the name of the official website for the US government's Bureau of Engraving and Printing. I'm not sure why, but it kinda weirds me out.

Adam Antics

[Adam Antics]

I wonder if he was singing "Strip" as he was stripping . . . .

Did Hillary Ever Like Dick?

[Did Hillary Ever Like Dick?]

Dick Morris responds his portrayal in Living History.

Pork & Jicima Dumplings

[Pork & Jicima Dumplings]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . sounds yummy.

Wednesday, June 11

But, was it fun?

[But, was it fun?]

I got an email from Keely late this morning:
Subject: and how ARE we this morning?

Did you make it into work or did you take today off? I made it in . . . . but I'm not happy about it. Granted I'm usually never that happy about it, but today I'm not happy on several levels. You understand.
Indeed, I do understand. I've had days recently when I too have been not happy on several levels.

I actually am doing relatively well considering my week thus far . . . . Monday night I touched base with an old friend and made it home too late for my preferred amount of sleep, and too trashed to get real sleep regardless.

Then, last night, Keely and I went to The Redhead's 10th Anniversary Party. It was surreal: food, open bar, ice sculptures. And, it was normal: reliable staff, skeevy men invading personal space while spouting uninteresting or disturbing stories, cigar smoke, aging coke whores covering as much skin with body makeup as with clothing, twentysomethings who seem to be trying the sophisticated bar thing (and invading the space of the long jaded) seemingly unaware that they are on the path of becoming next generation of the long jaded themselves.

The most exciting part of the evening? I had several marvelous manhattans made with Labrot & Graham Woodford Reserve Distiller's Select Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey and sour Michigan cherries. Yum.

Sunday, June 8

Monkeypox Update

[Monkeypox Update]

Okay, now it's been on the news [using that term loosely, it was CLTV]. They're claiming that American medicine and general physical health would mean that one, Monkeypox would not be fatal here, and, two, there shall be no epidemic. [Until, of course, all of the people who have purchased prarie dogs as pets release them into the wild allowing them to infect all of the city squirrels. I'm telling you right now: beware the city squirrels.]

The Tribal Nature of Fashion

[The Tribal Nature of Fashion]

Source: William Gibson's blog.

For Those Planning Independence Day Festivities

[For Those Planning Independence Day Festivities]

We'd all better move quickly, because Patriotic Peeps are available for a limited time only.

Important dietary information:
Are your products Kosher?
No. As of now, Marshmallow Peeps® candies are not kosher.

What is the source of gelatin in the Peeps?
The gelatin we use is derived from pork products.
Hmmmmmmmm. I am not planning any festivities for the 4th, but I might require some patriotic peeps anyway. I think I could be very crafty with patriotic peeps. Earrings, perhaps?

More on Public Domain

[More on Public Domain]

Check this out:

free culture

Yes, I still intend to comment. But, I think if you read enough about it I won't have to . . . .

Justifying War

[Justifying War]

John Dean's question: Is lying about the reason for a war an impeachable offense?

Dean's analysis Includes many of the statements made by President Bush while preparing the country for the war in Iraq.

A few of the thousands of related links, in no particular order:I had not been aware that this was such the hot topic.

Monkeypox & Senegambian Confederate Rats

[Monkeypox & Senegambian Confederate Rats]

According to the CDC, monkeypox is being spread by giant gambian rats and prarie dogs in Wisconsin, Indiana, and Illinois. There are 19 cases thus far.
Human monkeypox is a rare, zoonotic, viral disease that occurs primarily in the rain forest countries of Central and West Africa. It is a member of the orthopox family of viruses. In humans, infection with monkeypox virus results in a rash illness similar to but less infectious than smallpox. Monkeypox in humans is not usually fatal. The incubation period is about 12 days. Animal species susceptible to monkeypox virus may include non-human primates, rabbits, and some rodents.
The article doesn't address the some important issues:

Does monkeypox have anything to do with monkeys? If so, are there groups of monkeys with anti-American tendencies? Wasn't that the name of a band? And, don't we have enough rats . . . . why must we import giant ones from Gambia? When Senegal and Gambia were the Confederation of Senegambia, would we have called these rats Senegambian Confederate Rats? How do we know that they aren't from Senegal? And, wasn't that whole area Mali at one point? And, who are these people who think that prarie dogs would make good pets?

But, seriously . . . . According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the "case fatality rate among [monkeypox] patients not vaccinated against smallpox was 11 percent" in combined data from recent large outbeaks. If 19 people have monkeypox, and if monkeypox is spread through physical contact, and if the mortality rate is that high, and if I'm in Chicago, shouldn't this have been on the local news?

Thursday, June 5

Reclaim the Public Domain

[Reclaim the Public Domain]

I'm at work and don't have time to fully comment on this, but plan to later . . . .

Please review, and if you find the topic in line with your political stance [and I truly hope you do] sign the Petition to Reclaim the Public Domain.


Quoting Wolfie Correctly

[Quoting Wolfie Correctly]

Apparently, Wolfie was not quoted precisely. And, acutally, many of the articles that reference his comments were mistated. Most of the quoted comments were taken from the Q&A session following the IISS Asia Security Conference, and not from his actual speech. Hightlight:
Wolfowitz: The concern about implosion is not primarily at all a matter of the weapons that North Korea has, but a fear particularly by South Korea and also to some extent China of what the larger implications are for them of having 20 million people on their borders in a state of potential collapse and anarchy. It's is also a question of whether, if one wants to persuade the regime to change, whether you have to find — and I think you do — some kind of outcome that is acceptable to them. But that outcome has to be acceptable to us, and it has to include meeting our non-proliferation goals.

Look, the primarily difference — to put it a little too simply — between North Korea and Iraq is that we had virtually no economic options with Iraq because the country floats on a sea of oil. In the case of North Korea, the country is teetering on the edge of economic collapse and that I believe is a major point of leverage whereas the military picture with North Korea is very different from that with Iraq. The problems in both cases have some similarities but the solutions have got to be tailored to the circumstances which are very different.

Wednesday, June 4

War, Oil & Truth

[War, Oil & Truth]

Sorry, Wolfie, the truth won't set us free . . . . Sigh.

Cremaster 4 & Cremaster 5

[Cremaster 4 & Cremaster 5]


I went to the show last night. I was not nearly as enthralled with 4 or 5 as I was with 3. I'll still go to 1 and 2 should they appear again, and I'd definitely watch 3 again. Much of 4 was a long Aargh! for me . . . . something I'd not care to repeat. 5 was interesting but not so much so that I'd seek it out in the forseeable future.

Psychic Trauma

[Psychic Trauma]

Check out The Unh! Project. Tom's index of noises used in comic books provides the best definition for Aargh! This noise is apparently made when one is experiencing psychic trauma. As anyone who's heard me make it could attest, this is certainly what was happening to me each time I screamed, muttered, or whispered aargh!

It is precisely the noise I made when I, yesterday, saw the first ladybug of the spring. He was in my salad. I was certain that he did not belong in the salad which was purchased at Corner Bakery. [Had I been to a trendier fusion-esque establishment, I might have asked Jen if she thought he belonged in my salad.] I found his presence distressing.

This is also the noise I made when a guy waiting for the elevator this morning told someone at the other end of his mobile phone conversation, "Dude, I'm not 23 anymore . . . . It's gonna take a fuck lot more than a blowjob and a barbecue to get my ass out to the fucking burbs." I found his presence distressing as well . . . . I could not understand why anyone would have blown him for any reason.


Tuesday, June 3

Purse Noises

[Purse Noises]

I just realized that last Friday morning, unbeknownst to me, 3,043 seconds of audio were recorded on my iPAQ. Sounds of Crystal's purse, Crystal at the coffee shop, Crystal typing, Crystal sneezing, Crystal drinking coffee, Crystal on the phone, over fifty minutes of Crystal minutae. [J: it's yours to play with as soon as I figure out how to get it to you.]

Monday, June 2

The Beaten Path

[The Beaten Path]

This alley reminds me of Le chicle, a bar in Gibson's Idoru. I think I'd rather visit Death Cube K.

Product Junkie

[Product Junkie]

Oooooh. I just procured a new toothpaste: Aquafresh Extreme Clean with Micro-Active Foaming Action. The taste reminds me of something that I can't quite remember . . . . and my teeth are squeeky clean. I'm not sure if I care whether that's a dentist-recommended good thing. I'm also not sure if I care that it shares its non-flouride ingredients with various shampoos, body powders, and eye-brightening creams in my arsenal.

I like having squeeky clean teeth.

GWB's Speedy G8 Departure

[GWB's Speedy G8 Departure]

Dubya left the G8 early. Wonder whether the Blix report had anything to do with it. Notable:
At the G8 summit in Evian, Tony Blair, the UK prime minister, was forced to deflect suggestions by a former cabinet minister that he had decided last September to go to war with Iraq, whether or not United Nations support was forthcoming.

"The idea . . . that I made some secret agreement with George Bush last September that we would invade Iraq in any event at a particular time is completely and totally untrue," he said.
Yeah. They probably decided in August.

Cyberpunk's Father has a Blog

[Cyberpunk's Father has a Blog]

Through a convoluted and [owing to my short-term memory inadequacies] unrepeatable string of links, I found William Gibson's blog.

Biased Reporting

[Biased Reporting]

With fewer media conglomerates owning larger and more varied pieces of the pie, we can expect more biased reporting. Why? Because the masses won't be able to access "other sources" that cross-check the major outlets.

Story: FCC vote paves way for bigger media. Also check Lawrence Lessig's blog.