Wednesday, April 30

Banishment

[Banishment]

Apparently, The Dante's Inferno Test has me set to be banished to either the Second Level or the Seventh Level of Hell.

The The likelyhood of my ending up at any particular level?
Purgatory
(Repenting Believers
)
Low
Level 1 - Limbo
(Virtuous Non-Believers)
Very Low
Level 2
(Lustful)
Very High
Level 3
(Gluttonous)
High
Level 4
(Prodigal and Avaricious)
Moderate
Level 5
(Wrathful and Gloomy)
Moderate
Level 6 - the City of Dis
(Heretics)
Very Low
Level 7
(Violent)
Very High
Level 8 - the Malebolge
(Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)
High
Level 9 - Cocytus
(Treacherous)
High

If you take the test too we could compare scores. And if you know on which level I'll find the best bar, let me know and I'll try to alter my behavior.

Tuesday, April 29

Vibrating with excitement

[Vibrating with excitement]

The Matrix Reloaded on IMAX. Yeah!

Now I can't figure out whether I want to see it on opening night on a normal screen and then go to the IMAX viewing or whether I should just wait for the IMAX.

I dunno I dunno I dunno . . . . . c h o i c e t o o o o h a r d.

More Pseudo-Sports

[More Pseudo-Sports]

After reading of my interest in the East Coast National Championship Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race, Jeremy thought I'd be amused by Red Bull's Chicago Flugtag in early August.

He was most correct.

I am especially amused by this section of the rules:
JUDGING CRITERIA

1) Distance - Obviously, the farther the better. The launch pad is a flat (non-inclined) smooth runway about 80' in length. But a word to the wise, if you fly too far away, the judges won’t be able to see you to judge the other two criteria. It’s a combined score that wins. So plan on getting wet in front of everybody. Don’t worry. We’ll be laughing with you. Not at you.

2) Creativity - It’s not enough that it flies. Actually it’s not even required that you fly at all. A dramatic stone-like path into the water can lead you to victory if your craft is outrageous enough. Bells, whistles and the audacity of building something that both physics and common sense tells you can’t fly, that is what we’re looking for.

3) Showmanship - Think James Brown with a cape draped over him being helped off the stage, yet turning back for more. Think Kiss Rocks Detroit in ’77. And whatever you think of, make sure we can’t forget your launch routine . . . . . As a wise man once said, "It’s not whether they love you or hate you, it’s whether they remember your name."

Chebarba

[Chebarba]

I was just cleaning off my messy messy desk and found four calendar pages from a Berlitz learn Italian a phrase day calendar . . . . .

In the order I found them:

Piacere!
Non capisco.
Al Ladro!
Chebarba!

Amusing conversation. And, no, I don't speak Italian unless it's food.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll do the work for you:

Piacere! = Pleased to meet you!
Non capisco. = I don't understand.
Al Ladro! = Help, thieves!
Chebarba! = Effing nuisance!

Monday, April 28

Latte Saint

[Latte Saint]

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times, whoever invented cappuccino is a saint. Maybe I said "latte" but, well, it's close enough.

Sunday, April 27

Technological Wonder

[Technological Wonder]

It's too late to be an early adopter with this. I am woefully under-informed.

Guilty Pleasures

[Guilty Pleasures]

Confession time . . . . . . I just watched The Replacements again.

Saturday, April 26

What happened to spring?

[What happened to spring?]

I bought strappy shoes. I sent the coats to the cleaners. I ripped the plastic from the windows.

I am largely unprepared for this damp evening.

I shall eat too much red meat, drink, smoke, flip from channel-to-channel-to-channel and curse the weather.

Friday, April 25

Cremaster Release

[Cremaster Release]

It is likely too much to ask that a release of Matthew Barney's "Cremaster 3" will include Chicago.

Sports . . . . sort of

[Sports . . . . sort of]

It's too late to enter the East Coast National Championship Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race that's scheduled tomorrow. But it looks like it would be fun to watch.

Thursday, April 24

Verbal Control Caveat

[Verbal Control Caveat]

If playing pool at the Twisted Spoke you should not scream "fuck me" when you miss a shot.

Wednesday, April 23

Travelling Caveat

[Travelling Caveat]

Don't wear an underwire bra while travelling. See one flight attendant's trauma at The Smoking Gun.

Tuesday, April 22

The Wild Wind is Silenced

[The Wild Wind is Silenced]

Sadness. She is gone.

Nina Simone dies at the age of 70.

I would listen to her and she'd make me want to cry . . .

Wild Is The Wind

Love me love me love me
Say you do
Let me fly away
With you
For my love is like
The wind
And wild is the wind

Give me more
Than one caress
Satisfy this
Hungriness
Let the wind
Blow through your heart
For wild is the wind

You . . .
Touch me . . .
I hear the sound
Of mandolins
You . . .
Kiss me . . .
With your kiss
My life begins
You're spring to me
All things
To me

Don't you know you're
Life itself
Like a leaf clings
To a tree
Oh my darling,
Cling to me
For we're creatures
Of the wind
And wild is the wind
So wild is the wind

Wild is the wind
Wild is the wind

-- (1957) Dimitri Tiomkin & Ned Washington

Friday, April 18

Art-ish

[Art-ish]

Hugh MacLeod is a genius.

He's a New York artist [ see: www.gapingvoid.com ] whose preferred medium is the back of a business card.

Thursday, April 17

We should all be Blessed

[We should all be Blessed]

Blessings . . . . . .

Okay, I found this one at fark.com.

Romanian Priests Suspended For Blessing Brothels

My question is: wouldn't Jesus have blessed houses of ill repute? I mean, come on, where's the love?

On a related note, I do not think Mary Magdalene was a whore.

Commencement

[To J: Okay, darlin' your wish is my command. Like my thought trees, this may be very messy for a while.]