I got a bit drunk last night. It was my first day back to work, and of course it seemed like a good idea to go out for one cocktail. There were six of us, and the last few hours of our conversation concerned comparative religion / Christian doctrines including but not limited to:
- The existence of Hell in various texts [it's not in the OT, gentle readers].
- Satan is never mentioned in Job [it's God who tests Job].
- The reason Lucifer became pissed off [because God wanted him, and all of the Angels to love and respect Man as much as they love and respect God and Lucifer wished to prove that Man is unworthy of it].
- The Immaculate Conception concerns Mary being born with a sinless soul, not Jesus being born unto Mary without her having carnal knowledge, and this was decided at the Council of Nicea.
A bit heavy for loud drunken folks, but entertaining. When I left the bar at around nine-thirty or so it seemed like a good idea to take a taxi even though there were a few inches of snow on the streets.
As luck would have it, my cab driver was on his own religious rant:
- The White Man is going down soon [I'm not sure what he identified me as, being a neutral-ethnic looking at-least-part-Polynesian chick in the back of a dark taxi would mean that I probably didn't look White-White enough to him to identify with The White Man].
- The reason Muhammad instructed that pigs and monkeys must not be eaten is because pigs and monkeys are people too, the first of them were humans that were turned into monkeys and pigs . . . . God doesn't turn humans into monkeys or pigs any more because Muhammad asked Him not to.
- Hundreds of prostitutes have been carved up and inserted into pork products in manufacturing facilities in Minnesota and the consumers never noticed.
- WWIII shall commence with a major bombing within the next three weeks and I should get out of the country and away from The White Men . . . . he recommended Costa Rica.
And then, I stumbled out of the cab thinking mostly about how tasty some St Louis cut ribs would be. Hmmmmmmmm pork. A Samoan boy [well, a 6'9" 450-pound young Samoan man] once told me that the reason that the Polynesian peoples like Spam so much is that Spam tastes like people, and, well, it's not politically correct to eat people any more, is it? But, if pigs are people . . . . Crude, I know. Crude, crude, crude.