Saturday, January 29

Mea Culpa

[Mea Culpa]

I dislike talking to people when all I can think to do is whine, and so, when I'm feeling particulary crappy, I tend to avoid contact. I feel that I shouldn't call if all I'm going to do is complain.

This morning I awoke less depressed and less skittish —  for many reasons including but not limited to the end of a long, slow reorg at my company.

And I started thinking about all of the people with whom I've been out of touch. So, I started apologizing to everyone I've been neglecting. I wrote emails. I called people. I posted on boards I'd not visited in some time. The general message was that I'm sorry I've been out of touch and that I'd like to be in touch.

This afternoon, I've become saddened by a new thought: I fear that for some of my relationships this contact is too late. I was too neglectful for too long, said "no" to too many offers, failed to call too many times when I claimed I would, didn't feel like talking too many times when they called me.

And now, I don't think there's much I can do about it.