Friday, November 12

Drink Drank Drunk

[Drink Drank Drunk]

Going out for one drink after work always goes as planned: closing a downtown bar and stumbling in, cursing the aether and mock-repenting over the things one should have done instead. I say as planned because let's go out for one drink has become a politese for let's get completely shitty and rant.

It goes like this:
  • One suggests to a few persons familiar with the process that it seems like a good idea to go out for one drink.

  • Generally, a few people agree that going out for one drink would be a good idea at the end of this long day.

  • Participants pack their bags, including, of course, work they intend to do once they get home after having one drink.

  • Sometime between 5pm and 7pm the participants queue up in the reception area and head out to the bar together.

  • The participants walk to the bar discussing, among other things, the work they intend to do later, after this one drink.

  • Upon arriving at the bar, beverages are ordered and the ranting commences. Four Manhattans [up, extra cherries, extra cherry juice, shot of bitters, shaken until bruised] or Martinis [up, filthy, four blue cheese stuffed olives, vermouth in the glass] or Irish Car Bombs later and the participants are thanking the gods that the bar is closing because each has lost the will to decline anything proffered from the snarky waiter [why yes, you're correct, we would like another! appetizers do sound like a good idea! water? why thank you!].

  • The bar closes.

  • Participants stumble outside and into taxis and head to their homes.
The safety net for this process has been the bar of choice: it closes at 9pm. So, even on the worst of evenings one can make it home before The Daily Show starts, should one be inclined to watch it, and should one not be heaving when it starts.

About once a week, I go out for one drink. Last week, I didn't. This week, on Thursday, I made the suggestion and when I rolled in just before 2am, I was truly shocked. I'm unsure, exactly, how things went awry, but I do know that the glitch happened the final step: instead of heading home in taxis individually, we ended up heading to another bar together in a car.