I was just cleaning off my messy messy desk and found four calendar pages from a Berlitz learn Italian a phrase day calendar . . . . .
In the order I found them:
Amusing conversation. And, no, I don't speak Italian unless it's food.
Okay, okay, okay, I'll do the work for you:
Piacere! = Pleased to meet you!
Non capisco. = I don't understand.
Al Ladro! = Help, thieves!
Chebarba! = Effing nuisance!